need peace?

Everybody needs peace, or there wouldn’t be good in the world. (just my opinion) Life can sometimes throw you all these curve balls that can eat away at you.  You can become your own worst enemy.  It eats at you until you start to take it out on people around you, especially the people you love and whom love you.  I get so into my anguish, or my inner frustration, that I almost feel like I am sinking into a black hole and can’t breathe.  I feel trapped and unable to be rescued.  That fight or flight starts to creep up.

I either become depressed or I pick fights…. or just explode at the drop of a hat. My poor poor Ben.  He is the one that usually takes the brunt of my disharmony.  He is amazing most of the time though and can usually calm me down.  But it wears on him too and he becomes frustrated at my frustrations.  He holds me close to him and keeps asking “what is your deal?” “just talk to me”.  I’d like to add that he has only yelled at me I think twice since we have been together, and I use the word “yell” very loosely.  I NEVER have really heard him yell or scream.  His “yell” is more like “a small increase in volume” when compared to regular-talking-Ben.  He is so mellow and relaxed all the time that it is honestly uncanny. I think that is why God brought us together. I am emotional and frazzled, and always worried about something, and he is totally not.  He doesn’t fuel the fire in the least.

I know he seems so perfect J